I guess I should start doing these, My monthly depression post. So at least once a month, I get a little depressed. I start to dwell within my mind about life and what’s happening.
Well, for the month of August, I guess the main topics that seem to be causing a big fuss is the fact that I’m jobless, moving to college in a month, and someone that I like.
So throughout my summer of 2014, it should be the longest summer of my academic career. I’ve had from mid May to late September. I planned ahead to search for jobs during the summer because I’ll basically have 4 months of free time. Currently it is month 3, and I’ve given up on looking for jobs. I was offered a job at target, but commute would be a great hassle, so I rejected the job (which I currently regret). I’ve also been rejected by 3/4 positions at some companies, and so I’ve given up on doing so, I can’t help but to think that I’m wasting my time. I’ve done nothing productive over my break, and I contemplate the thought of what am I doing in life.
College begins on October 2nd, but move in date is September 28th. It’s August 17 and college is creeping up. Before I know it, I’ll be living in a dorm, without anybody to take care of me. I’ll be in a new area, which I’m not familiar and forced to be accustomed to, and I will not know who is around me. Nobody is there to watch over my every move to guide me what is right and wrong, and the fact of being an individual, isolated from my natural habitat, is just frightening. Transition from high school to college will be difficult, especially because my high school definitely did not prepare me. But I believe that I can sustain academically. I am just afraid of the lifestyle and the people that I’ll be facing… Don’t forget… During this summer, I’ve met someone new.
This someone new is currently someone who I plan to stay committed to. I’ve tried my best to maintain integrity and loyalty to this person, but I don’t know what they want. Do they want me? That’s the situation in which I don’t enjoy encountering when dating. I know what I want, but I don’t know what they want. I get signals, but am I reading them wrong? Regardless, I do not want to intimidate them but confronting them of the situation. I can guarantee that they do care for me, and that whenever I see this person, they become a bit more bubbly. They’ve also said a few things in which makes me quite happy, but once again, what is their intention? I’m going off to college, but you’ve also mentioned you can visit. Now all I do is wait for you to make a move or not. Regardless, I know what I want, and it’s you. So let’s take it slow, and I’ll see how this all plays out.
It’s too early to sleep… Snap me!
Sometimes I wonder if whatever is happening, is actually happening, or is it just the way I see it that makes it seems so good. I have a habit of over-romanticizing small things that I do with people and I’m afraid that I might be doing it again. I really do enjoy the time we spend, but I don’t know how all of this is to you.
Lol getting me heated. Now I’ll just take my anger out on ranked.
Can’t believe you even have the audacity to think you have shit to say over mine. Do you even think about others other than yourself? I mean since you just love time to yourself, let’s just leave it that way. Seeya never~
Nobody is ever awake at this time… Makes me feel so lonely :/..
Well the day just started! It’s 3;05. haha But as of 7/11, it went by pretty smoothly
:C Who are you! I’m sure you didn’t do anything wrong. If you did, it’s alright :C… Just let me know who you are at least. If you have any of my other social media/number, then just hmu!
Haha I’m sure you’re not. Just tell me who you are.
Who are you.?